So, we hear that you lot are unhappy? Sure, if you were really that unhappy, you could just leave the country, but apparently everyone wants to follow international law and display the right to protest. While we, at the government, respect your right to protest, we also don’t want to see anyone get hurt. With the help of Priti Patel, Boris Johnson and Emperor Palpatine, we’ve created a handy guide on how to protest without being too much of a bother.

By the next election, the two main reasons people didn’t vote Labour will not exist. And the bad news: the billionaire owned media will continue to demonise the Left. So what can you do? Accepting the reality we live in doesn’t mean giving up. Here’s what you can do.

Boris Johnson gave a speech at 18:00 outside Downing Street that appeared to be announcing nothing, leaving everyone asking: What the fuck was that!? Allow me to tell you what the fuck that was.

Brexit may have caused a huge divide in our country, but the divide between left and right runs deeper and longer. The argument against a Corbyn led emergency government is that the Tory MPs don’t like him. To that I say, good.