Stranger Things 4 showed that, while mind flayers and Demogorgons are all terrifying, there’s nothing scarier than a white man on the hunt.

It’s finally happened to you; you’ve woken up in a Netflix Original Rom-Com. You just woke up and you’re inexplicably wearing mascara, brow gel, lipstain and a little eyeshadow in the socket. You suddenly have a manicure. Your antidepressants have disappeared, but strangely you’ve got the energy to go on a five mile run in the morning? Who are you?