Be Your Own Valentine This Year


At this time of year, it can be hard to separate your self-worth from your relationship status, and at times we all can find our self-esteem inextricably linked to whether we’re in a long-term relationship, how much sex we’re having and how often we eat alone. We’re here to tell you that this is utter bullshit. Sorry folks, but it’s all a lie. In the wise words of Oprah Winfrey, from her letter to her 20-year-old self, ‘a lesson you will have to learn again and again: to see yourself with your own eyes, to love yourself from your own heart’.

While we can’t all be as profound and undeniably brilliant as Oprah, we can all have a go at implementing this sentiment and throwing away the rulebook when it comes to loooove. The way I’d choose to paraphrase this sentiment back to myself is: love yourself better than anyone else does –  not more, better. Only you know how you feel in a relationship or out of one and only you can take the pressure off.

Whether you’re single, dating, or part of a long-term double (or triple) act, here are a few affirmations that will help you to feel empowered to fight the pressure of Valentine’s Day.

It has 0% actual significance

Remember it’s just an arbitrary day that means absolutely nothing other than the sentiments you attach to it. The date you first met your partner or the day you made it official can be much more important, as are those self-care rituals that make you feel utterly delicious.

It’ll all be forgotten tomorrow

Maybe you forgot to buy your dearly beloved a gift, or perhaps you hate the day because it reminds you of a toxic relationship or the one that got away. Whatever your reasoning, hunker down, do what you need to do to feel okay and remember that it’s just another 24-hour day that will end soon enough.


Do your own thing

Spending Valentine’s Day alone? GREAT. You can do it exactly the way you want to. Why not treat yourself to your favourite meal and binge-watch your favourite series, or invite one or two of your single friends round for a bit of pampering.

Why not make it fun?

No matter how much you hate V-Day, you can make it bearable and even fun. Get creative, start a new tradition and do it your way. Forget soppy cards and roses, make yourself a cheeky cocktail or some special brownies. You could even buy yourself or your significant other some new sex toys or bdsm gear.


Do Valentine’s to the max or don’t bother at all, but either way remember to put yourself first and look after your mental health. Pressure is not your friend and your friends are just that. If all your friends are lovey-dovey couples and their Valentine’s chat is getting you down, flash ‘em your cheekiest smile and tell them to shut up. I promise you can pull off the sass, henny.